Why is everybody always picking on me?

Poor Tom.

That seedy liberal rag, the Wall Street Journal, has just bent him over and ripped him a new asshole. Commie pinkos!!!

I mean the guy's part of the Republican Senate, so he's obviously one of God's chosen. Who are these shysters trying to get us to question why he's accepting perks from shady Russian businessmen or funnelling a cool half million from his campaign and PAC directly into his own household?

Da bastards...