Why Drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge is a Good Thing

• Hunters won't club oil-covered seal pups to death for their pelts, so oil spills will help to protect them.
• Indirectly funding bloodthirsty American zealots makes better economic sense than indirectly funding bloodthirsty Arabic zealots.
• A thick covering of crude oil will effectively block any harmful UV radiation exposure caused by ozone depletion.
• With oil prices the way they are right now, the government will earn enough to add third and fourth fronts to the War on Terror.
• Alaska is dark six months out of the year, so nobody will even notice the environmental damage half the time.
• George Bush Jr. supports it, so it's obviously what Jesus would want you to do.