Haunted Toilet Seat

Given the popularity (and ending price) of the 'haunted cane' auction on eBay, I think I'm going to start a 'haunted toilet seat' auction. The description will note all of the following, which are absolutely true.

This toilet seat has been associated with:

• Strange groans, clanking and other unearthly sounds
• Foul, noxious odors that seem to emanate from beneath it
• A distinct feeling of discomfort experienced by those sitting there, or about to sit there
• A shivering sensation upon standing up from it or immediately after standing nearby