A Modest Proposal - Make Tobacco More Toxic

While I was out mowing the lawn the other day, I happened to notice the neighbor's 14 year-old kid lighting up a cigarette. It occurred to me then that the problem with tobacco products isn't that they can kill you, it's that they take so damned long to do so. So in the interest of the public health, let's make tobacco more deadly.

Sound crazy? Think about it. One day the 'next big thing' on the pop charts is in People magazine, cigarette dangling stylishly from his lip. Three months later, he's down a lung and hauling an oxygen tank behind him. Or the major league pitcher has a wad of chew in June, and a big, nasty chunk out of his jaw by August. That shit'll make you think.

;)